Showing posts with label Social Responsibility. Show all posts
Controversial Baba and spiritual guru, Asaram Bapu raised another controversy after asking his disciple the date on which Poonam Pandey's debut movie 'Nasha' is releasing.
"He asked me when Behen Ponnamji's film Nasha is releasing. He personally wants to watch the movie to give her aashirwad," said Asaram Bapu's disciple Chirantan Swami.
Swami said "I was surprised when Bapuji asked me how is Behen Poonamji's movie Nasha's progress is going. He also asked me when the movie is going to be in the theatres and instructed me to book front row seats so that he can closely watch her and give all the blessings."
Yesterday only, Asaram Bapu triggered a controversy and outrage as he suggested that the Delhi gang-rape victim was equally responsible for the brutal crime and said the girl should have called her assailants "brothers" and begged them to stop. Asaram was slammed by Congress, BJP and women's rights activists for the insensitive remarks. Now after the news that he inquired the movie releasing dates of Nasha and calling Poonam as behenji also fueled the same rage among the activists.
National Commission for Women chief Mamata Sharma posed a question by asking him how he dare to call Poonam as Behenji.
"This is an insult to Poonam. He can't use such an abusive term 'behenji' on her. Poonam is making all the efforts to take Indian women in the level playing field with men, he can't dare talking such insulting word. He has to apologize," said Mamata Sharma.
While reaction from Poonam Pandey is yet to receive, email sent by India Satire correspondent to Asaram Bapu went unanswered.
Marking a new era of friendship, Indian government signed an agreement to swap Delhi Police with Syrian Army in 2013.
In a joint statement with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, India's Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde said "This agreement will start a new era of India-Syria relation. While we chose to send India's 'Dabangg' Delhi Police to Syria, they chose to send their fearless army."
Syria also described that the great friendship will be just a beginning before major change in both the countries. Both the countries will fully protest proof and peaceful in the given time.
Syria had successfully cracked down the ongoing civil war till date while Delhi Police successfully trashed demonstration against rape cases recently.
"We want to understand the skills and techniques use to tighten the knots of notorious and demanding rebels. Both Delhi Police and Syrian Army demonstrated great muscle in keeping demonstrators in their noose," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad who was on a 1-day visit with India.
Both the country representatives released a joint statement that will provide terms and conditions for the operations of both forces in each country.
"Syrian Army has unique technique in maintaining law and order in the country. Nation requires team efforts and rebels are always the threat for building a nation. Over last 2 years we closely monitored the way Syrian Army maintained Syria peaceful. We decided that while we can learn some techniques from Syrian Army, Syria also can learn from Delhi Police. We both have win-win formula," said Sushil Kumar Shinde, India's Home Minister.
The agreement also suggests that both the forces will exchange their knowledge on understanding the psyche of rebels.
A researcher has claimed that watching porn makes straight men support same sex marriages. However, straight men only support woman-woman marriage and not man-man marriage. Straight women also support man-man marriage rather than woman-woman marriage.
Mark Regnerus, who became infamous earlier this year when he published a now widely discredited study that supposedly found children of gay parents, are worse off than those of straight parents, made the claim on the Witherspoon Institute website last week.
According Huffingtonpost, Regnerus said that the anomaly has been seen in the men and women brains which are fit to see heterosexual gays rather than homosexual gays.
Of the men who view pornographic material every day or almost every day, 54 percent strongly agreed that lesbian marriage should be legal, compared with around 13% of those whose porn-use patterns were either monthly or less often than that, Regnerus revealed.
Popular for making notorious statements, India's Home Minister took an extreme step and punished himself after comparing Delhi rape protestors with Maoists. Sushil Kumar Shinde pulled out his 6-ft long tongue and convinced media that as he would take action against himself he would also battle against crimes against women and would meet DGPs and Chief Secretaries on 4 January to discuss tackling crime against women across the country.
"Everyone will ask of every government… We should not go anywhere. Tomorrow 100 adivasis can be killed Chhattisgarh or Gadchiroli, can the government go there? It is because this is Delhi you want us to go there," he said in an exclusive interview with Rajdeep Sardesai on CNN-IBN.
However, after the statement was passed, Shinde who looked a bit conscious put his hand on his forehead.
Worried a bit, he said "Errr.... What did I say? I was not supposed to make this kind of statement. I promised Soniaji that I would not be saying anything damn foolish after the Jaya Bachchan and Bofors incidents. Oh Gosh! If I had replaced this tongue last month only, its validity is expired now. Oops! Rajdeep before action on any other guy I have to take action against me."
Suddenly, Shinde moved his hand in his mouth, insanely pull out his tongue from its root and gave it in the hand of Rajdeep Sardesai. Shocked Rajdeep Sardesai threw the blood soaked tongue in the dust bin near his chair.
After the incident Shinde cleaned his face. However, according to sources Rajdeep Sardesai immediately left the show and found critical for next 1 hour. After his recovery, the show completed with Shinde talking using hand gestures.
A hand gesture recognition expert who was invited to understand what Sushil Kumar Shinde trying to talk, said "Shinde wanted to tell that pulling out own tongue was the only punishment for the tongue which is uncontrollable and make statements like a rapist rapes. Therefore, to show the integrity towards nation Shinde took such a severe action against himself. However, Shinde also confirmed that as he was a very important person for the country, nature would endow him with new and fresh tongue in next 3 months. Till then he would carry a hand gesture recognition expert for his meetings with DGPs and Chief Secretaries on 4 January to discuss tackling crime against women across the country. He also ensured that he would take steps against other criminals."
Doctors identified that hyper active genital of rapists which are real cause for the rapes in Delhi can be replaced with impotents and eunuchs.
"They can be cut down and replace to the impotent guys who are not really realizing the pleasure of sex," said Dr Abhishek Sharma of Fortis Hospitals.
Talking on the recent gang-rape in the bus, he suggested that the government can use the idea of replacing the genitals to poor impotents and eunuch so that hyper active rapists would never rape again.
He said "The idea is to bring peace and harmony in Delhi as over worked Delhi Police would get some space and we hospitals would get some work to do."
The idea welcomed by Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dixit with setting up fast track committee on recommendations. Before the idea was getting pushed by Doctors, she was considering announcing Delhi as Official 'Rape City'.
"I feel that Rs 600 is sufficient amount for a family to eat. And nobody uses his genital for work. Further, that part is as it is useless for these rapists and if it gets active they use it in rather uncivilized manner. We feel that the recommendations of Doctors make sense. As it is these rapists are useless trash and we are only asking them to become useful. However, we can pay nothing to them. It is totally for a social cause and not for profit-making," said Sheila Dixit.
After incidents of arresting two girls and one boy, 30% Indians clearly abandoned the idea of abusing or objecting any politician, any Thackerays in the world along with the names such as Shiv Sena and Maha Nirvan Sena for a while just to secure from the severe cold.
"I actually thought of writing something on Raj, but after the arrest of Sunil Vishwakarma, I postponed the plan," said Bangalore based Twitterite Raj Kumar Yadav.
He said that many of his colleagues also decided to postpone the plan right now and whenever feel like outing in jail would start abusing.
He said "It's a good idea a picnic to jail is always great thing. Different and more thrilling."
A survey done by SurveyMonkey clearly stated that the winter season and hopelessly cool atmosphere kept all the Facebook writers and Twitterites to avoid writing anything on Raj, Uddhav Thackeray, Shiv Sena and MNS.
"Yes, 30% of social networking activists are clearly indicated that they would not post anything that Police would consider it as offensive. While 10% said that they can risk their life and would like to enjoy the thrill of lying in the jail in severe cold. Rest are still unclear whether to say something or not seeking the detailed climate report from Indian Meterological Department (IMD)," said S Balakrishnan, survey head of SurveyMonkey.
"Oye who want to go to jail in this cold," said Lucky Bedi, a Facebook frequent visitor who is followed by 12,244 fans.
He said "Better be at home having some garam tea and pakaudas."
According to IMD, India may see a severe cold and people may find it incovenient to stay in jail because of unavailability of basic amenities.
"Actually, because of continued holidays we are a bit let forecasting cold this year. We are sorry for inconvenience to many Indians on postponing decision to go to jail," said IMD official.
However, many other journalists and editors gave same comments creating copy right issue
City news editor from a famous news channel expressed his displeasure and huge amount of sadness over Kasab's execution and also showed that entire news media support the innocent Kasab for getting injustice by the Indian Government. He expressed his views in line with other city based journalists, editors and reporters who expressed their displeasure on Kasab's death.
Seating in a bar with a glass of Old Monk, the City News Editor, representing one of the top News Channels of India said "Why did Government execute him? That poor and innocent baby, why did it take such an extreme step?"
Taking each and every sip of Old Monk with heavy heart, the editor said "Killing common man is so common and acceptable even by a terrorist, but why special guy like Kasab who just visited India (sob sob)?"
The comment came in line with the reactions from many editors and India's news media journalists who expressed their immense displeasure on the justice of execution.
IBN Lokmat editor Nikhil Wagle said "Kasab gone, but the world is full of extremists and idiots." Former Executive Editor of The Hindu, Malini Parthasarathy, said "Kasab hanged. How does legal sanction for retaliatory murder redeem the savagery of what is in essence an "eye for an eye" act of revenge?" (Special Note: Indian Government took a note on Malini's statement and is recommended for Noble Peace Prize).
According to FirstPost, writer and activist Meena Kandasamy was acidulous when she said: "feel sorry for the Indian tricolour. heartfelt condolences" while Newsweek International editor Tunku Varadarajan alluded to the paradoxical delivery of justice in the country: "India hangs man responsible for killing hundreds of Mumbaikars days after it lauds man responsible for killing thousands". His hashtags in the tweet were the giveaway as to whom he referred to.
However, City Editor said that he was original in his thought and always felt sorry for Kasab inside his thought. He also raised copy right related issues and told that the originality is important. Even while words can be different if the theme is copied it should also be considered as breach of copy right.
He said "These people copied my theme."
Giving his grave smile, he said "That Malini Parthasarathy is totally copy paste editor what the fu*k eye for an eye thing. Boss I give you original stuff. A terrorist can rape me, he can strip me and he also can kill me but don't take revenge, don't punish him and late him live peacefully."
The Editor completing his statement said "I always told myself that Kasab should not be hanged. I was the first who immediately after Police captured him in 26-11 massacre told my mind that this guy, this guy should not be hanged and therefore I was the first and the most original in thinking such way."
Many Talibanis and Pakistani terrorists found Lashkar-e-Taiba Supremo Mullah Hafeez Saeed having sessions of masturbation privately after the execution of Ajmal Kasab in Yerwada Jail, Pune. Sources said that Saeed was acting out of fear that if he was being jailed again in India he would not get chance to secretly masturbate and would remain deprived for world's best stress relieving technique.
"Janaab Saeed started pumping his cock up and down furiously when I told him that Kasab bhai executed in India," said Umanullah Khan, a street beggar in Pakistan who is actually learning these days how to shoot using AK-56.
He told India Satire correspondent "I was amazed and asked why he was masturbating. He said that even I should seat their and start masturbating otherwise I would also not get a chance to do it. He told me that Indian Jails don't give privacy and we can't relieve our stress. He was on rampant just before oozing out."
Sources said that Kasab complained Hafeez Saeed from jail that he was not getting opportunity to have self stimulation sessions while watching many beautiful virgin girls in his dreams.
"That made Janaab Saeed for having masturbation at same point of time. He doesn't want to remain destitute of the pleasure," said a close associate who witnessed the development.
He said "Janaab also asked all of us to have indoor sessions every day morning, afternoon, evening and night so that all of us whenever found attacking any of the Indian cities would not feel like deprived of this opportunity."
NEWS IN BRIEF - SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
City based Mummy Rajana found saying her son Chunky not to comment or like on Facebook which may take him to jail. The development came after Mumbai Police arrested two girls for posting and liking a comment on bandh held in Mumbai on Monday.
"Beta Chunky, Facebook pe Kuch bhi comment ya like mat karnaa warnaa Police aa jayegi," found Rajana telling her 9 year old son when he was not moving his eyes from Facebook page.
The shocking comment resembles popular yesteryear movie 'Sholay' when famous robber Gabbar Singh tells his associate 'Samba' "Pachchas pachchas kos dur agar koi bachcha rota hai to uski ma keheti hai bachcha so ja warna Gabbar aa jaayega."
Experts said that today Mummies are mostly affraid of law than the destructors of law. The word 'Gabbar Singh' is interchangeable to the words Kapil Sibal, Digvijay Singh, Manmohan Singh and now Police.
"This rising threat can only destroy the famous right to tweet or like," said College going Rashmi Pansare from Mumbai.
Delhi based Archita Sharma told that she was warned by her mom again and again not to tweet or like something that she thinks is funny or likeable.
"Because every likeable or funny or significant thing is against some political party like Shiv Sena, or some stupid politician, or government," said Sharma.
Government said that it would act in every possible manner to reduce this rising trend of calling Police as Gabbar Singh.
"I will tell Police Officers that just keep tabs on the comments and likes. If something found rude or untolerable against me, myself or anybody in the politics then find the house of that bloody idiot. Go over there and slap him hard on both the cheeks. Kick on his ass and then comeback. Don't take him to jail warna Katju aa jaayega," said Kapil Sibal.
Press Council chief Markandey Katju received a notice from Mumbai Police asking him over his daring to order Maharashtra CM Prithviraj Chavan to inquire in to the wrongful arrest of a woman for protesting against a bandh following Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray's death. The development came after Maharashtra CM saw the letter lying on his desk written by some Katju ordering him to probe in the arrest matters.
Police Inspector Shinde who was present in the cabin of the CM said "After watching the letter, Mr. Chavan asked me who this Katju is. I have never heard his name. How dare he ordering me? Enquire him who is this guy and take him under custody. This guy is spreading angst for the Maharashtra Government arrest him under section 341, 342."
Shinde said "We just wanted to understand why this guy was unnecessarily talking. Therefore we sent a constable."
Acting on Chavan's instruction, Mumbai Police immediately sent Katju a notice and Hawaldar Pandu went to arrest him. However, after viewing many news reports saying that Press Council chief Katju wrote a letter to Chief Minister of Maharashtra removed all the ambiguities and Prithviraj Chavan took back his orders and avoid further embarrassment for Maharashtra.
Doctors in Ireland confirmed that just by adhering law of God of not to abort a baby they would get direct entry for contesting as a Pope in the Vatican City.
"Yea it's a magic. When you have all the reasons and ways to save a person's life, if you let her die it is itself a big magic and all magicians are considered as saint. Therefore, we are saint and we have direct entry in the Vatican City," said a spokesman at University Hospital in Galway.
Spokesman said "We tried to save the baby and therefore God gave us this grant to contest elections of Pope."
The tragic death of Indian dentist Savita Halappanavar's in Ireland sparked a serious outrage and brought the debate on the abortion laws to the fore front. However, the hospital staff said that it was an entry for the genuine and godly hospital servants to serve the god directly in the Vatican City.
Vatican City is an ecclesiastical or sacerdotal-monarchical state, ruled by the Bishop of Rome—the Pope. The highest state functionaries are all Catholic clergymen of various national origins. It is the sovereign territory of the Holy See (Sancta Sedes) and the location of the Pope's residence, referred to as the Apostolic Palace.
While replying to the question of the India Satire correspondent that it would have been difficult for hospital staff to choose between a person's life and Holy Place, Vatican city, the doctor replied that it is an opportunity that comes in years and we wanted to choose God than a human being.
Talking about the duration it takes to become a Pope, doctor said "It is not an issue we can wait 20-30 years for current Pope to decide when he wants to meet God and Holy Jesus Christ and then only we would contest for the elections. Till then we have already booked our seat."
Indians celebrated the day with crackers and sweets
Saluting UPA Government's cabinet reshuffle decision, India witnessed a festival like scene today. Everywhere, it was Diwali like situation, people were giving sweets to each other, lightening their houses day and night, streets were fully surrounded by people with traditional clothes and flowers and everybody was wishing each other 'Happy Reshuffle Day', 'Happy Reshuffle Day'. Rangolis were drawn with different coloured powders to welcome new ministers. Banners with photos of Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi along with India's only hope Rahul Gandhi decorated with colourful malas were enlightening across all places in India.
"Wow, its great day for India. It's cabinet reshuffle yaar. Every day, watching same old stupid faces was so boring. For last 1 year I know how I really tolerated these faces. Imagine SM Krishna standing along with cutie Hina Rabbani Khar. Yucks! But now I will strengthen my imagination, standing Khurshid with her. Wow, now I will get different varieties of people to see," said Yadupal Sharma, a citizen living in Lucknow.
He said "We are optimist now. At least these new ministers would not be involved in scam or corruption cases."
Cabinet reshuffle is most awaited event in India since the next day of the last cabinet reshuffle. People start talking about the guy who would be in next cabinet.
"I am hopeful that this time all ministers will pledge that they would keep a fast for one day for next 1 year from eating corrupt money," said Rajendra Chawla from Ludhiana.
He said "Yeeee... Wow its most wonderful day in the year. I believe next year we shall see few more mature and sad looking faces."
Political Banner maker Sandip Joshi said "I found that new young politicians like more and more banners of them. Our business will be booming next year."
Cabinet Reshuffle day is generally considered as most optimistic and dynamic day in Indian democracy. People who actually get irritated and bored with old faces can see new faces and also for a change they try to become optimist that corruption will be ended with new reshuffle.
NEWS IN BRIEF – POLITICS, SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Even India's RAW joined the movement
Dalals (Agents) in India, involving in real estate, commodities, stocks and many deals sued Sheila Dikshit's political secretary Pawan Khera on serving a legal notice to India Against Corruption's Arvind Kejriwal saying that what is so derogatory in calling as an 'agent'.
"Is this guy stu*id. What was so derogatory in calling somebody as agent? Is this the profession that cleans shit holes of dogs and pigs so that he felt calling Sheila as 'dalal' degrades her? He totally degraded us by putting a legal notice on Kejriwal just as he called her dalal," said Sachin Tiwari, President of All India Agents Association (AIAA).
While in his legal notice, Khera could not explain how the word 'dalal' was derogatory, all the agents demanded him the explanation.
"We want an explanation, that how does this word make somebody derogatory? So on that basis calling us dalal or agent would just literally makes us deterioratory element of society," said Sachin Tiwari.
According to sources, even Government's wing RAW (Research and Analysis Wing) will also support the movement against Khera. Most of the workers in RAW are called as 'agents'.
"Yea, we are actually taking a cautious stand. We sent an application to Government to change our names from agents to something else, like ministers or corporators otherwise we will also agitate with All India Agents Association," said Director of RAW, Sanjeev Tripathi.
He said "Just because of Honourable Mr. Khera we actually understood that how much hideous word 'Agent' is."
NEWS IN BRIEF - SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
The occasion helped Indians to postpone their shaving and cutting hair by 2 days
Many Indians visited Barber shop on an important day of Gandhi Jayanti for cutting their rising hair and shaving clean by good expert barber.
Inputs were provided by Indian Barber's Association, which reported a sharp surge in the sales by almost 50%, which was even more than Sunday sales.
Amjad Khan, a full time Barber from Andheri said "Gandhi Jayanti was a pre-decided occasion for most of the job goers in Mumbai who thought of cutting their hair and shaving."
Khan confirmed that the overall sharp rise in the number of customers just collapsed entire system, as most of the barbers didn't really expect that much crowd. Few also reported Police complaint to stop the ruckus.
He said "In few shops there were long cue and many were fighting for their legitimate number. Most of the customers had to wait for 4-5 hours to clean their shave. We were not ready for such a wonderful crowd pullout."
However, the situation raised serious debate among the experts. Few experts said that rising laziness and attitude towards postponing the urgent work is rising in Indians which led to collapse of barber system in India.
Sunil Sharma a social activist from Delhi said "People are becoming lazier. While it was Sunday when people used to go to barber's shop now they used Gandhi Jayanti for cutting their long hair and clean shaves. It's so ridiculous."
However, Pankaj Tiwari a customer from Noida said "It was a bit emotional thinking behind the move. I am not sure why everybody decided to choose this 'Quite unusual' day for collective gathering at barber shop."
NEWS IN BRIEF - POLITICS, SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
After resigning from his post of Deputy Chief Minister of Maharashtra, Ajit Pawar said that he would continue to serve people of Maharashtra and society-in-large by joining as a sweeper to Mumbai based Old Age Home.
"Yes I want to work as a sweeper and collect and clean the garbage, whatever old people make in the old age homes. That is how I decided to serve people in Maharashtra. This will continue to keep me in work and do social service as I don't have ministry now," said scam tainted Minister Ajit Pawar to India Satire correspondent.
Ajit Pawar, Maharashtra deputy chief minister, resigned on Tuesday following allegations of irregularities in clearing irrigation projects in the state.
He said "I am a by default a social worker and never remain alive without social work. Social work is in my genes. Even in my dreams I work for society. You would not believe yesterday in my dreams I saw myself collecting garbage, cleaning bathroom and sweeping clean & dry for socially ignored old age people. Therefore, I thought I should do all these thankless things."
He confirmed that he applied for a job in an unknown Old-Age Home of Mumbai which is actually scrutinizing his C.V. and will offer a job on Rs 2000 per month scale as soon as he fits for the job of sweeper.
He also asked few other ministers from different states to join such work so that they also can continue to work in favor of the society.
