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Mumbai: Maharashtra
ACP Vasant Dhoble will act as Social Security Guard
After MNS Chief Raj Thackeray threw all the mud on Maharashtra's Home Minister RR Patil and Deputy Commissioner of Police Arup Patnaik that they failed to rescue Mumbai from the riots happened on August 11, Maharashtra State Government is seriously thinking on changing the name of their portfolios to give them adequate recognition.
"What is the logic? If somebody is good in particular thing, we should call him that way instead of confusing ourselves with some other macro terminology. RR Patil is good with social security handling as like sending back Bar girls to their respective states then asking dosawalas to shut their shops in the night. This is his core handling and therefore the government decided to call Home Ministry of Maharashtra as Social Security Guard Ministry," said State Chief Minister Prithviraj Chavan.RR Patil has contributed remarkably to shut the immoral night life of Mumbai, in spite of a lot of criticisms. He appointed ACP Vasant Dhoble as a Social Security In Charge while Arup Patnaik as Superitendent of Social Security In Charge. However, his presence could hardly helped sending back Bangladeshi immigrants or stopping Pakistani terrorists from visiting Mumbai.
Chavan said "Yea that's true. Bangladeshi immigrants and Pakistani terrorists are self sustaining issues. We have already shown that. Last time Patil resigned from his post of Home Ministry when Kasab along with his few friends visited Mumbai, we inducted him again. That time before resigning his post he actually resolved the issue of dance bar girls in no time and secured social life of Mumbaikars. Now while he was doing his job of shutting down the shitty night life of Mumbai, this idiotic riots came. Therefore, we decided to make his job more focus and worthy of doing something and asked him to focus on social security portfolio."
According to sources, RR Patil immediately accepted the offer and eventually ACP Vasant Dhoble was shifted to the post of Security Guard.
"I am happy," said shy RR Patil "I am happy with the offer. Social security is what I like since my childhood. I used to clean noses of my friends to look them clean, I also used to clean my own UGs so that it could not harm any of my other friends by germs. I used to clean my hands by using Dettol. I am 99.99% germ free. When I entered in a teenage I started cleaning my social profile. I started using white shirt and white pant. Even my UGs are damn white coloured by Ujala Blue. Now getting the Social Security Guard Ministry is actually my dream come true."
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| Vasant Dhoble at a night cafe on morning 11 a.m. |
Mumbai: Maharashtra
Vasant Dhoble will cut the inauguration ribbon
A new discotheque 'Just Chill Night Cafe' is opened in the city which will be opened from morning 10 to evening 6. It will be first of its kind which is trying to provide all the night services in the daylight.
"Who wants to waste money on Vasant Dhoble. Better it would be if we ourselves move night life schedule of Mumbai to somewhat back," said Ramanand Shetty owner of Just Chill Night Café.
He said "I invited Vasant Dhoble to inaugurate the discotheque and he happily agreed."
Vasant Dhoble said "That what I wanted. If everybody would shut his café and pub by 6 pm who would raid them. I will also cut short the work timings of Mumbai offices which force their employees to seat till 8 pm."